I’d like to start this post off by saying THANK YOU to all of my clients old and new. 2012 was an amazing year for me in this business. I have learned so much and grown tremendously. I appreciate all of you! THANK YOU! =)

Well, I like the idea of having an opening statement each new year for Angela Valerie Photography. This, however, will be a more personal post about me and about me as a photographer. Of how I see myself and of who I think I am now since I started this business. Sure, you can read the “about me” section on my website or this blog even, but I can tell you now, it’s just who I am on the surface. I can’t explain why I feel I need to be open and raw about my feelings, I just know that I need to do it. It’s not all this post will be about, but I will get there…probably at the end of this post…since I love to procrastinate over things that make me nervous…

Remember my opening statement from last year? Well, I still want to tell your story. I have been so lucky to have had some families in 2012 provide an environment for me to tell their story. They brought along activities or just went about their business and allowed me to click away. It was awesome! Then I realized something. This isn’t for everybody. And that’s OK! I don’t want to exclude people (not that I ever have) from having their family photos taken because they want the ones on the beach or in a field. I still like those pictures! They may not tell a story, but if I’m lucky I might capture some raw emotion or just even capture the essence of who they are. Their character. Their family dynamic. I love story telling photography, but you know what I like just as much? Capturing emotion or evoking some sort of emotion from a capture. Below are some of my favorite (mostly unscripted) emotional/evoking  images from 2012.

Now that I have come to the realization that your session doesn’t have to tell a story to define Angela Valerie Photography and to make ME happy (yes “me” I will get to that) I have come to other realizations too. Here it goes…a short list.

1. A story telling session would best be showcased in a book or album. I offer a print credit. Yes, that could be used toward an album, but now I see the complication. Most people want a photo session to capture pictures that they can put on their wall (one picture or a few even) or send out in a Christmas card. If I am documenting a family Lego night or a birthday party, it’s going to be hard to pick something for the wall. TIME FOR A CONFESSION: I have no photos on my walls. You know what I have one of my walls? One of those Aaron Brothers frames (it was a gift) with tiny squares and rectangles that require cutting up pictures to make them fit. I have never had my own family photo shoot done! I am in the process of figuring out getting them done in the near future, but come on! I am like the shoemaker that doesn’t wear shoes! Anyway, it got me thinking about what I want my session to be and I want both. Story telling and like a smidge of everyone looking at the camera to say “stinky cheese”. Just to have for the grandparents and just to have for formality.

2. There had been a few shoots that I wasn’t very proud of. I tried to figure out why and it seemed like it stemmed from my lack of assertiveness. I come from a past of shyness. I have a hard time offering suggestions and that, I’m sure, stems from my fear of rejection (I think we all have some of that, right?) so, I have learned to try REALLY hard to direct people when needed. I have learned that I feel more comfortable phrasing it like “how would you feel about hiking up a ways to that tree?” or “would you be comfortable sitting on the ground over there?”  But, even with that, I may still pass up photo opportunities and that’s where I need your help. PLEASE offer suggestions. I may be the professional, but I am also human and I may overlook potential. Also, PLEASE,  if I don’t see something happening, a moment worth capturing, PLEASE bring it to my attention. Sometimes I am busy thinking about what to do next or I will be off photographing a family member when other special things are happening behind my back. Please make me aware if you see it. These are your pictures and I am there to capture all that I can.

3. Am I an artist or a story teller? I have always felt like the word “artist” never belonged to me. I wanted to be called “photographer” or even “story teller”. I would even love to be called “family photojournalist”. Yes labels, but it helps to define, right? If I am building a business, I need a brand. A brand is a label and I need to know what mine is. Well, I came to the conclusion that I AM an artist. I realized that when I was analyzing why there were shoots that I wasn’t proud of. Aside from my lack of assertiveness, I realized that I wasn’t inspired at the shoot. I always hope that  people choose me to be their photographer because of what they see in my portfolio and what they read on my “about me” page, but I have had some shoots where I may have not been the right fit for the client. I am going to be blunt here when I tell you what makes me uninspired. I hope I don’t offend. I just want to make very CLEAR what it is and that way it might help you decided if I am right for you. For YOUR pictures, if you want (for you) what you see in my portfolio, it may not happen if I am uninspired and that is why I feel like I can call myself an artist. Artists thrive on inspiration. If I am not inspired, I won’t thrive and while the images might be nice, they will likely lack somehow. Here are some things that leave me uninspired: wearing matching outfits, you are seeking perfection and don’t allow your children to play and get dirty, and lastly (but not limited to) posing. I need you to PLAY with each other. I need you to watch your children play and soak their joy in. A photo session is a two way street. I need you to give a little of yourselves so that I can give back. It’s work on both sides. You won’t get anything out of your shoot if you don’t give a little of who you are.  I am not saying that I won’t take posed pictures. I WILL. It needs to be done. For grandparents and for formality. But an hour of posing will just not produce interesting or meaningful images and I’m not the girl for you if that is what you are looking for.

4. In this business I am insecure. There, I said it. Not insecure about how I look or what people think of me. Insecure about what my clients think of their pictures. This business is VERY hard on my emotions. 99% of the time, it feels like the first day at a new job before every shoot. I get nervous, jittery, and a little sick to my stomach. As soon as the shoot starts, I get in my zone and feel peace. As soon as I finish editing and send off the client’s gallery, I obsess and dwell in front of the computer until I have gotten a response. When I don’t get a response after I have seen that they have viewed their gallery, I dwell and begin suffering from mild anxiety. I hope this is a little comical because I am sort of trying to paint a funny (but realistic) picture. The good news is, I do have a life outside of this business. I spend time with my 3 children, husband, run, workout, and if ever there is time, I read books and watch some movies and TV. I also volunteer at my daughter’s school 2 to 3 days a week, work on their yearbook, book fair, and do shoots at my other 2 kid’s preschool (sometimes weekly). So thankfully, I don’t have time to dwell too much. 😉 Why share this unnecessary information about myself? I don’t know. I guess I am just growing weary of all of the photographers out there who scream confidence. I don’t think I will ever have it and that’s OK. It’s not enough to make me quit doing what I love, anyway.

So what would make “ME” happy? Well, I am already happy. Extremely happy. I love my clients! I feel so lucky to have such nice people in my life. I know that everyone has bad days at work. I can’t say that I have had that yet in this profession, but I have had the feeling of mediocrity and that doesn’t feel good. I have had no sense of life balance since I started this business and that needs to be figured out, ASAP. But I am happy. I am happy to be growing into a better photographer every day. I am happy to be in a profession where I am constantly learning. I am happy to be meeting such nice people and taking photos in such beautiful places. I am happy when I feel proud of my work. I do feel proud most of the time.

I hope this blog post isn’t as annoying as I am thinking it is. Oh well. Had to get it out. Please keep reading. I have some announcements.

I am now offering wedding packages. I am no longer working under Live Love Wed Photography. I will be offering weddings under Angela Valerie Photography. I am in the process of getting that information on my website. I will make an announcement as soon as it’s up and ready. If you know anyone getting married, send them my way. If they happen to be having a vegan wedding, there will be a discount because I have never been able to eat at any of the weddings I have photographed. No joke. A discount for vegan weddings. I know it’s a stretch since I barely know any vegans myself, but hey, had to throw it out there.

I have had 2 client referrals this year! THANK YOU! Did you know that you get a $100 print credit when you refer a friend? If you get those referrals out, you could earn enough in print credits to cover your walls in large prints, or canvas prints, or even buy an album.=)

Lastly, at one point this year I had veered away from funky or vintage feeling edits and stayed true to my film roots keeping my images color and black and white. I absolutely love the look of aged vintage, uniquely processed images, but I am learning that I like variety too much and it could just get out of hand for me. I also don’t think it fits with the brand that I am trying to build. I may change my mind someday, but for now, and from now on, you should only see consistency in my editing.

If you are still here reading, I THANK YOU! Thank you for your support and for your time. Feel free to comment, offer suggestions, tell a joke, whatever you wish. May you have a peaceful, healthy, happy, new year filled with positivity, creativity, and laughter. LOTS of laughter. xo